Father of Coltan Haynes Committed Suicide After Haynes Outed Himself
Coming out is the hardest thing in the world for an LGBT person to do.
The whole world can change. Down can become up. The world can tragically become black and white, with no more hopes of grey.
Family and friends can become distant, unfeeling, uncompromising and uncaring strangers in a split second.
The promise and potential of complete strangers becoming new family and friends becomes something to hope for and hold onto.
The person out themselves can become a pariah in their own personal and professional life.
The severity of reaction is different for every person who voluntarily comes out. But one thing is surely for certain: nothing will ever be the same again.
An identity become locked into the minds of everyone close to the outed person.
Nothing will ever be the same again.
LGBT people who choose to stay closeted should not be judged for doing such. LGBT people who voluntarily out themselves should receive all the support and love they need as they endure the stresses and difficulties of public identity transition.
However, the real world hardly works like that and it is almost never, ever fair.
This is a fact that 27-year-old Coltan Haynes, a young actor who has appeared on Teen Wolf and Arrow, learned many years.
Haynes publicly outed himself in May 2016 and recently sat for an interview with Out magazine to talk about the difficulties he encountered as young gay teen struggling to decide whether he should out himself or not.
Haynes grew up in Andale, Kansas where he said one, “couldn’t be gay.”
The actor knew his true sexual identity when he was a child in the first grade. Yet, he knew that presenting his true identity to his family and town would only cause his problems.
Haynes outed himself to his family when he was 14-years-old. His parents were reportedly disappointed and personally crushed to learn Coltan was gay.
Haynes ran away from home for almost a month and stayed with a friend of his. It was during this time period that Hayne’s father committed suicide by overdosing on Oxycodone pills.
The actors stated that a little while after the death of his father he was told that, “…my dad killed himself because he found out I was gay.”
Although Haynes obviously still carries the personal burden of pain and trauma from the experience, he didn’t let it stop him. Today he is an actor in demand and on-the-rise.
Haynes should be lauded for outing himself publicly, sharing his personal pain and reaching out to untold LGBT individuals who have endured or someday soon will endure such similar circumstances.
Coming out is the hardest thing an LGBT person will ever do.
They deserve as much love and support possible, and then some, to help them through such a life transition.
However, the world does not usually work like that.